Concert – Josh Bradley Live

Today marks five years since I attended my first rock concert. My uncle managed to snag tickets for the two of us to see Billy Joel live and in the flesh at Tampa’s Amalie Arena, as a Christmas gift.

I still remember that night like it was yesterday. I hollered out every word to almost every song, screeching at the top of my lungs. Going to that show was something I bragged about to my friends at school, but sadly, everybody was either unimpressed, or had never heard of Willy Bowl.

My uncle, the only person I could really get deep into music with for years on end, has sworn to me ever since that show that we’d also go see Bruce Springsteen together. But even before COVID, The Boss hasn’t really been much help with that deal. (*Jamie Hyneman voice* Tour, damn you!) So we compensated with Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers in 2017.

The poster I bought five years ago today still proudly dangles in a frame on my bedroom wall, with other Billy Joel ticket stubs I have obtained in recent years. Unfortunately, I lost the distressed baseball cap weeks after purchasing it, hence why I’ve made it a tradition that I buy a baseball cap in honor of it every time I see Billy live.

Now, I noticed that I have written reviews of almost every show I’ve been to, even in old perspectives. When The Monkees’ Peter Tork died in 2019, I wrote out a review of The Monkees’ 50th Anniversary Tour (which my uncle also attended with me) as if it had happened days ago. So, I’d like to do the same thing now.

Picture this:

The year is 2016. Joe Biden is still Vice President of the United States, Coldplay is about to play Super Bowl 50, and you’re still recovering from an exhilarating Billy Joel concert.

CONCERT REVIEW: Billy Joel lets Tampa’s Amalie Arena take the wheel during sold-out concert

“Good evening, Tampa-St. Pete!” Billy Joel called out to his sold out crowd at Amalie Arena Friday night.

Ever since the Piano Man’s grand return to performing after a brief hiatus, he’s been a regular in Florida, having already hosted two New Year’s Eve shows in Orlando and Sunrise. Friday night’s show at Amalie Arena was packed to the gills with both Florida crackers and NYC snowbirds, as well as some in-betweens. And the energy was so high, there were moments you thought you were actually up north at Madison Square Garden.

When the lights went down to the ending theme to The Natural some 20 minutes after the ticketed 8:00 start time, a single blue light shone on Joel–all decked out in a black, black, and black suit and tie. The floors of the dome brutally vibrated when the C# about 15 seconds into the complex opening of “Miami 2017 (Seen The Lights Go Out On Broadway)” was pounded out. Propped up on a life-sized Lazy Susan-style platform at the forefront of his circular stage, Joel didn’t miss a beat, in his vocals or fingers.

I say this with all the love and respect in my heart: Despite his massive following of die-hards and casual fans alike, Joel has evolved into a nostalgia act. He hasn’t promoted any new material since 1993’s River of Dreams, and his touring days with Elton John (who is releasing a new album next month) are most likely over. But a discography as vibrant as his still gives him all the right to present his crowds with “fielder’s choices,” meaning that he’ll throw out two songs, and he’ll perform whichever gets the most applause.

Yes, “Vienna” gave the boot to “This Is The Time.” “The Longest Time,” featuring a “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” warmup, won against its original album’s title track, “An Innocent Man.” An obvious choice of course, but a nice surprise addition nonetheless.

Billy doesn’t do full-fledged tours with back-to-back dates anymore. He plays one show a month, per his residency at Madison Square Garden, and he’ll often fly out to one or two different locations around the world a month. And since his last performance, which was January 7 at Madison Square Garden, the world has lost David Bowie, and Glenn Frey of the Eagles.

For the Starman, Joel and his flawless backing band launched into the chorus of “Rebel, Rebel,” admitting that they just learned it the morning of. As for the Eagle, who died earlier this week, there were two: A heartbreaking piano-and-microphone-only singalong of “Desparado,” and later, a ride through “Take It Easy” during a pause in “The River Of Dreams.”

Bowie and Frey weren’t the only people included in his dedications, though.

Normally, the point to live music is, well, as Joel once put it, “to forget about life for awhile.” But even the 66-year old New Yorker knows that the 2016 election is going to be one for the ages. 1975’s “The Entertainer” was dedicated to Republican nominee Donald Trump, and “New York State Of Mind” to Republican senator Ted Cruz. “These are my values, Ted.” Billy jabbed. Knowing the scarlet conservatism of Florida, part of me wonders how many people will never support Joel again after said “tributes.”

Before blasting into his electrifying, hit-scorched encore, Joel tore the house down all over again with the six-minute strong fan-favorite “Scenes From An Italian Restaurant,” and then capped up the main set with “Piano Man.” Despite every fan in the house howling the final chorus of perhaps his most iconic song back at him, what came next was what many bought the tickets for–“Uptown Girl,” “You May Be Right,” and “Big Shot,” just to name a few. Oh, and the snippet of Led Zeppelin’s “Rock And Roll” was a nice touch, as were Mike DelGuidice’s unyielding vocals on “Whole Lotta Love.”

“Turn off the news once in awhile!” Joel hollered after closer “Only The Good Die Young,” as opposed to his regular “Don’t take any shit from anybody” closing remark.

At the end of the day, it’s probably the best advice we’ll receive for another few years at least.

CONCERT REVIEW: Steve Martin and Martin Short jab, pluck, and screech during almost-annual comedy routine at Ruth Eckerd Hall

“If you get offended by anything, please just send an email to my team. toughshitnorefunds@gmail.com!” Comedy legend Steve Martin opened yet another sold-out show with mediocre comedian (to him, anyway) Martin Short with.

Were there offensive elements? Sure. But was the show itself a riotous, comedic mess in its own ideal way? Without a doubt.

The superduo released a special on Netflix a year or two ago, entitled An Evening You Will Forget For The Rest Of Your Life. And though this string of dates, properly titled The Funniest Show In Town At The Moment, takes place two years later, there wasn’t really much in the way of material unseen in the special. There was a smidge more commentary during some portions though, which probably explains why the evening was about 45 minutes longer than the Netflix special.

Once a montage of the headlining duo’s best moments in film went black, the original Wild And Crazy Guy came out around 8:15. Almost immediately after his warnings about there being no intermission, and how he doesn’t care if you get offended, he introduced his “lesser-known” sidekick.

“Just because I said thank you doesn’t mean you have to stop applauding!” Marty jabbed almost immediately. A few insults and anti-compliments later, the two burst into song, with Jimmy Kimmel Live! pianist Jeff Babko, admitting that they have over-inflated egos, but were about to kick some serious comedy ass.

First and foremost, some childhood images of the comics were displayed on a big screen that normally magnified the two. “That was the year I was voted ‘Most Likely To Marry A Cousin!’” Marty admitted upon seeing his high school senior photo. “GET THAT OFF THE SCREEN!” Steve hollered, upon coming face-to-face with a picture of the two making out at an AFI event.

Most of the night consisted of roasting each other on how chubby or old they once looked for their age, or how painfully lame and unentertaining each other’s work was. But after teaching three guys from the audience The Three Amigos salute, a sliver of civility finally came out when the two sat in their living room-style chairs, and just reminisced for about twenty-five minutes. They were mainly short anecdotes about their extensive careers, from when Marty actually met Katharine Hepburn, to when Steve told about a time him and Marty went to St. Barts for Christmas, and The National Enquirer shot a rather unflattering photo of the two in the ocean.

“We’re gonna keep doing this until we’re not having fun anymore.” Marty confirmed. Steve responded by standing up and striding offstage. With that, Babko came back out, and Marty carried on with talking about his life, his parents, and auditioning for many a Broadway show. He then presented a snippet of what was said to be his first show, “a nude version of the second best story ever told, Stepbrother To Jesus.” By the end of it, even Babko was in a nude suit, flopping around his hand down by his…never mind. “Come on, Jeff, I’ll show you somethin’ huge!” Marty yelled as Steve shooed the two offstage in utter disgust.

If you didn’t know, Steve has been a prodigious banjo player for over 50 years, claiming to have written over 100 banjo songs. He was even kind enough to explain the difference between the banjo and the guitar. “The guitar can get you laid.” he proclaimed.

He sat down and started plucking away effortlessly on a medley of songs he’s written over the years, joined by critically acclaimed country quintet, The First Ladies Of Bluegrass. Before the quintet alone got fifteen minutes devoted to their twangy tunes, the six onstage rocked out to a newer song, I Can Play The Banjo.Every time a break in the lyrics came, one of the First Ladies would do a solo of some sort on their instruments. Steve would then present a dirty look, as a reminder that this was his moment to shine. Nope, no sign of King Tut anywhere.

Once the group’s set ended, Steve came back out to talk some more about ticket prices, until Marty and crew member Jesse Lundsford interrupted him, both slowly marching out in Scottish regalia. He picked Marty up, who put his thumb to the side of Jesse’s mouth, and while rhythmically kicking his right rainbow-socked foot, non-mournfully ululated Amazing Grace, as if he were Jesse’s personal set of bagpipes.

“I can’t believe you laughed at that.” Steve annoyingly poked.

Next came a “puppet” of Marty’s Jiminy Glick, saluting a time when Steve was supposedly doing ventriloquism. Like in the Netflix special, and in general, the two only did one thing together: Roast the hell out of political figures, and Kim Kardashian.

“This is what she looks like without makeup!” The photo on the screen changed from Kim Kardashian to Steven Tyler. Brilliant. Also, apparently Bernie Sanders looks like a used tissue, and Kim Jong Un looks like a bouncer in a lesbian club.

Jiminy ran (yes, ran.) offstage, and out came Marty in his standard suit and tie. Ending the show were eulogies written by each other, for each other, just in case they don’t die together. As you can imagine, Marty’s was full of true sentiment and grief, while Steve’s was just affronting, in his own, perfect, Steve Martin way. “Wow, small turnout. Normally, when the world loses a comedian, everyone’s sad.”

All jokes aside, here’s to many, many more years from the two egomaniacs. We need them immensely, even if their schtick remains more or less the same.