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Everything Is Postponed In Clearwater

COVID-19, thou heartless bastard.

In case you haven’t heard, Clearwater’s Ruth Eckerd Hall has postponed every single event taking place through April 2. This doesn’t only go for the Hall itself: The Nancy and David Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Murray Theatre, and even all REH On The Road events have been tackled by the pandemic.

Down below is a list of all the events that have been postponed due to the epidemic. Friends, I wish you the best in this critical time. Remember to keep your hands clean, leave some toilet paper for other people, and please, listen to the scientists. They know what they’re doing.

Postponed / Cancelled Events From Ruth Eckerd Hall:

3/14: Art Garfunkel at the Bilheimer Capitol (though his postponement came for an unspecified reason)

3/15: Eric Johnson at the Bilheimer Capitol

3/16: Phillies 40th Anniversary Reunion at the Bilheimer Capitol

3/16: Josh Groban at Ruth Eckerd Hall

3/17: Geoff Tate at the Bilheimer Capitol

3/17: Jill Scott at Ruth Eckerd Hall

3/18: The Choir Of Man at the Bilheimer Capitol

3/19: 112 Years Of Broadway at Ruth Eckerd Hall, both shows

3/19: Graham Nash at the Bilheimer Capitol

3/20: America at Ruth Eckerd Hall

3/20: Killer Queen at the Bilheimer Capitol

3/21: Chris Young at Valspar, CANCELLED

3/22: Yes / Alan Parsons Live Project at Ruth Eckerd Hall

3/22: Steve Hackett at the Bilheimer Capitol

3/25: Florida Orchestra: Bright Side Of Beethoven at Ruth Eckerd Hall, CANCELLED

3/25: MasterChef Junior LIVE! at Ruth Eckerd Hall

3/26: Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr. at Ruth Eckerd Hall

3/26: Old Crow Medicine Show at the Bilheimer Capitol

3/26: Buddy Guy and Kenny Wayne Shepherd at Ruth Eckerd Hall

3/27: Ruth Eckerd Hall Chorus Spring Concert at the Murray Theatre

3/27: Stephen Lynch at the Bilheimer Capitol

3/28: Florida Orchestra: Peter And The Wolf at the Murray Theatre

3/28: John Michael Montgomery at Sims Park

3/28: Rodrigo y Gabriela at Ruth Eckerd Hall

3/29: Winter Dance Party at Ruth Eckerd Hall

3/29: Florida Orchestra: Broadway, CANCELLED

3/29: Jackie Evancho at the Bilheimer Capitol

3/29: Howard Jones Acoustic Trio at the Palladium Theatre, CANCELLED

4/3 and 4/4: Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons at Ruth Eckerd Hall

4/3: Mary Chapin Carpenter at the Bilheimer Capitol

4/3: Bret Michaels at Chasco Fiesta

4/5: One Night In Memphis at Ruth Eckerd Hall

4/8: Trey Kennedy at the Bilheimer Capitol

4/9: A Bowie Celebration at the Bilheimer Capitol

4/11: Patton Oswalt at the Bilheimer Capitol

4/17 and 4/18: The Price Is Right Live! at Ruth Eckerd Hall

 

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REVIEW: Jeff Dunham and suitcase posse, revisit old material and announce possible comedy special in Tampa

Jeff Dunham might film his next special in Florida, he announced Saturday night to a packed Amalie Arena. “We’ve been doing shows here in Florida for awhile, and we love our audiences here!” the ventriloquist veteran commented.

Jeff started off his biannual show in Tampa by giving a status update on his wife and twin boys Jack and James, with whom he FaceTimes with almost every night after shows. Along with mention of them came a slightly embarrassing story about a bath time incident, that some parents may be all too familiar with.

With the alarming growth of the coronavirus pandemic, Jeff-fa-fa had an ideal source of brand-new material. “If anyone here is coughing, get your ass outta here.” he demanded before letting the little people in the boxes emerge.

As usual, first up was Walter, who, as per usual, had a brand new set of problems. The old codger was propped up, and wearing a surgical mask. He admitted to stealing it off of some guy on a plane’s face, not realizing how wrong he was to have done that. “Just so we’re clear, yes, I know I look like Joe Biden,” he confessed while firing up the jokes about the former vice president’s memory problems, and a few non-PC jabs at future commanders-in-chief.

Last time, the new character was Larry the Trump advisor. This tour, it’s conjoined twins Rich and Happy propped up next to Jeff. Rich is a very conservative, borderline workaholic who loathes his more left-leaning, easy-going conjoined twin brother Happy, once known as Harold. “Shut up, numbnuts!” Rich would scold his brother with. Each were asked by Jeff about some of their world views. Happy, wearing a tie-dye t-shirt, was asked about the legalization of marijuana, to which about half the crowd cheered for on his behalf. “Those are my people!” he called out. Rich was asked about families being separated. “I’d separate us first!” was his only response, obviously referring to his brother.

Next up was Bubba J, who would express how much he wanted to contribute more than jokes about incest and NASCAR to the show, so he introduced us to a segment entitled Bubba J’s Drinkin’ and Thinkin’. This was mainly him listing off his thoughts about the world right now, like how he’s glad Pete Buttigieg dropped out of the presidential race, solely because his last name is hard to pronounce. Then again, this is coming from a guy who later couldn’t handle learning how to tell a knock-knock joke, and also, apparently doesn’t know his ABC’s, having to stop at F. “Bubba J, come on…what comes after F?” Jeff asked. His lazy eye went back into place, and he thought for a moment. “150?” he replied.

Then came the purple, the wacky, the legendary Peanut. Within two minutes, he was already in a heated argument with Jeff about Wi-Fi passwords, which cleverly were “ICantTellYou,” “IDontRemember,” and “YouHaveToGuessIt.” If you know comedy, you probably can guess what went down between the two. Other than that, Peanut made his normal, zany remarks about not losing, but finding a shoe, and telling the kids in the crowd not to say fuck, after being told that he swore one too many times. He even brought out his old frenemy, Jose The Jalapeño On A Steek, who announced that he might leave the show to become an astronaut. “I haven’t seen much of him since Trump got elected!” Peanut realized.

The only lovable terrorist on Earth, Achmed, closed up shop, venting to Jeff about topics such as him hoping to become the new major general in Iran, yet also lamenting that his 72 Virgins have become part of the #MeToo movement. But when the place erupted upon him hollering out his trademark “Silence, I kill you” threat, he felt better immediately. He’d then be asked questions that audience members scribbled down before the show. He sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to an eleven-year-old fan, and learned that there’s a Howard Franklin bridge here in Tampa. The highlight, though, was him admitting that he’d be screwed if Jeff contracted the coronavirus. He even sang a few lines of Harry Nilsson’s Without You, which lead to Jeff researching and pulling the song up on his phone, putting it up to the mic, and the whole dome singing along, or turning on their phone flashlights.

It was kind of a magical moment in Dunham history. Hopefully, that magic will still be there, if and when he tapes his next special in Florida.

 

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Concert Reviews

CONCERT REVIEW: Billy Joel dusts off more hits than obscurities for a, yet again, packed Amalie Arena

“I haven’t been on the charts since 1993!” Billy Joel stated after wrapping up his synthed up semi-hit, The Entertainer. Apparently, he had no idea what he was talking about in 1975.

Friday night was my third Billy Joel show, in the span of three years. Whether it’s on New Year’s Eve, or a January evening, he starts every year in Florida. But since 2014, only years that are even numbers get a show in Tampa. So next year, we’ll probably see him in Orlando or Miami. Like it or not, Florida is spoiled rotten with the experience of seeing the Piano Man live.

At 8:20, following the end titles from The Natural blasting through the venue, Billy strapped on a blue Fender, and opened with We Didn’t Start The Fire, after three straight Tampa shows of opening with Miami 2017 (Seen The Lights Go Out On Broadway). He admitted early on that he had come down with a cold, and that he felt like the show had a rough start. “Okay, that was an authentic rock and roll fuck-up.” he proclaimed. But even with the illness burden on his back, the King of Madison Square Garden, with a little help from his Entertainer’s Secret throat relief spray, nonetheless brought his songbook spanning twenty-two years to the ears of some 20,000 snowbirds and at-heart New Yorkers.

Normally, Joel pokes fun at a fellow musician early in the show – it’s usually Elton John. The target is now Madonna. While talking about his usage of the Entertainer’s Secret, he mentioned that he once saw the pop star use it, and it made no difference. “Then she had them turn the air conditioning off, and that made all the difference.” But Billy himself is an exception. “I’m 70 now, so I don’t care anymore.” he bragged.

Most of the album tracks everyone wanted to hear were moved out of the way during the first half of the show. Most of the album tracks get an incredible rap when played, and have become absolute show highlights every single time he plays Tampa. Zanzibar, featuring the incomparable Carl Fischer on trumpet, was no surprise, and Vienna being chosen over Just The Way You Are, based on audience applause, was also pretty expected. Oh, and The Downeaster ‘Alexa’ is still, four shows later, Tampa’s absolute fave off of 1989’s Storm Front. After those three favorites, and then some, three new additions to the common setlist finally surfaced in Tampa for the first time either in ages, or ever.

He dedicated Summer, Highland Falls to “all you manic-depressive people out there” – “How about a new name? What is it? Um…normal!” he jabbed. Some might say the song’s appearance in the list came at the perfect time, following the tumultuous week America has had. One song later, he came up with the name he was looking for: Bipolar. Say Goodbye To Hollywood was a pleasant surprise addition as well. Most everyone knew that one better than the highlight of the night’s featured deeper cuts, Modern Woman, from 1986’s The Bridge, and also the Danny DeVito-starred Ruthless People. “Eh, it was alright,” Joel said about the movie.

A few covers were thrown in, too. The Beatles’ I Feel Fine was used as a platform to show off Tommy Byrnes’ wah-wah pedal, and expertise as lead guitarist in general. And during the break in between The River Of Dreams came a totally unexpected, rowdy rendition of ZZ Top’s Tush. Sure, there’s usually a cover in that slot, (during Joel’s 2016 stop in Tampa, there was a Take It Easy tribute to the then-recently fallen Glenn Frey) but there was definitely something odd about a New Yorker croaking out a song about Texas.

Most of the non-die hards came to the show for the hits. And hits, they received: The factory whistle opened Allentown, shades were donned for New York State Of Mind, and She’s Always A Woman triggered slow-dances and, like with most every other tune, the crowd echoing the chorus. Even his encore was a swing through the hits – the head-banger hits. Joel twirled around a flowery shopping bag (might have been a gift bag from a fan) on Uptown Girl, and twirled around the mic on It’s Still Rock And Roll To Me. He would stagger back to his grand to close up shop with his best-known album openers, Big Shot and You May Be Right.

Ending the main set was guitarist and life-long fan Mike DelGuidice showing off his operatic chops with a stirring rendition of Nessun dorma, which would warm everyone up for the two that most people were waiting through the album tracks and hits for: 1977’s Scenes From An Italian Restaurant, and um…what’s that one song he did with the harmonica that made it into the Library Of Congress? “If you’ve got a beard or a mustache, it gets stuck in the freakin’ harmonica!” Billy said while setting up his harmonica holder.

Even if he was spitting out little hairs in between blaring out that iconic riff, he sure as heck nailed the two and a half hour party harder than other 70 year olds with a cold would.

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Concert Announcements

BREAKING: The Rolling Stones bringing No Filter tour to Raymond James Stadium

Whether it’s through their music, or even just their trademark tongue-and-lips logo, who doesn’t know The Rolling Stones?

Monday morning, Raymond James Stadium unveiled a banner with the Rock And Roll Hall Of Famers’ iconic logo. That same day, the band posted online about “feeling restless,” obviously meaning another leg of their No Filter Tour, currently one of the top ten highest-grossing concert tours of all time. And just confirmed just under an hour ago: One of its new stops will indeed be at Tampa’s own Raymond James Stadium, on July 5, 2020. Tickets go onsale next Friday, and if you plan on going, you’d better jump at it.

Keith, Charlie, Ronnie, and Mick haven’t played a show in Tampa since 2005, when they sold out the St. Pete Times Forum to promote A Bigger Bang, their most recent album of new material. That was just over a month after Sir Paul McCartney sold the place out himself.

This will not be the first time the No Filter Tour will be presented in Florida, though. Last year, following Mick Jagger’s heart surgery, Miami and Jacksonville got a taste of the codgers’ everlasting talent. And in 2015, Orlando got the Zip Code Tour. I think it’s safe to say that Tampa has been tortured relentlessly, and we’ve waited long enough.

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Concert Announcements

BREAKING: Guns N’ Roses coming to Tampa

Heavy metal in Tampa? No way. Not here. Quit dreaming.

Hard rock legends Slash and Axl Rose have not always been the best of friends, and because of this, Guns N’ Roses are really just getting back on their feet. Following Slash’s departure from the band in 1996, Axl continued the group without the legend, and the band started to lose a few fans and even started playing intimate venues in some cases. But four years ago, something changed: The thirtieth anniversary of the group’s formation came around, and rumors began to spread that Axl and Slash were just gonna hug out everything that happened. In early 2016, those rumors were confirmed, and the group announced the Not In This Lifetime Tour, which would go through the United States, and later the rest of the world. The only Florida stop on the first US leg of the tour was in Orlando at Camping World Stadium, and on the second leg, Marlins Park in Miami. The last time they played in Tampa was in 2006, but the last time proper Guns, with Slash, played here, was at the old Suncoast Dome in late 1991. And guess who their opener was? Freakin’ Soundgarden.

But on another note, here’s the point:

Nearly thirty years later, the real Guns N’ Roses will, at long last, play Raymond James Stadium on August 15, 2020. Tickets go on sale this Friday. If you want to try your luck and go, I wish you the best of luck, as tickets are probably gonna go fast. But be sure to hope really hard that Axl will show up, or else you’ll be part of another infamous GnFnR riot.

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Everything Else

Are The Rolling Stones coming to Tampa? Fan club website starts rumor about 2020 US dates

Last year was a close call for Mick Jagger: Heart surgery forced The Rolling Stones’ highly anticipated US leg of their critically acclaimed No Filter Tour to be postponed a few months. But as we all know, Mick and Keith Richards are immortal, so their return to the stage only two months (!) following Mick’s surgery was triumphant to say the least.

Since the tour came to an end in August, Stones fans have been dying to know what’s next for the band. Well, we just might have an answer. According to international Rolling Stones fan club website IORR, the series of stadiums the Jumpin’ Jack Flash rockers blew up last summer may have just been act one.

“The Rolling Stones are working on a tour in North America lasting from May to July 2020, rumoured to be announced next week.” the site reported. “Cities rumoured for shows are San Diego, St. Louis, Atlanta, Cleveland, Louisville, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Baltimore, Nashville, Charlotte, Tampa and Atlanta, all USA, and Vancouver Canada.”

The Hall Of Famers ran through Miami and Jacksonville last year, and in 2015, Orlando was given a night on the Zip Code Tour. As for Tampa, there hasn’t been any sign of the band since 2005, when they rocked the St. Pete Times Forum (now Amalie Arena) to promote their most recent album of new material, A Bigger Bang. Their last few tours haven’t had much promotion of anything new, with the very possible exception of their 2016 album comprised of covers, Blue and Lonesome. So a No Filter show mainly contains greatest hits, and a few deep cuts for the die-hards in the crowd.

So, are The Rolling Stones playing Tampa? If so, which venue would they blow up? While the most realistic answer is Raymond James Stadium, there’s no doubt that should a show be announced, no matter what capacity, there’s no doubt that resale tickets, with prices up in the thousands, would be put up for sale within the hour of sales beginning.

With all that said, there was supposed to be an AC/DC tour announcement back in July, and we still haven’t gotten anything.

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Concert Reviews

CONCERT REVIEW: Steve Martin and Martin Short jab, pluck, and screech during almost-annual comedy routine at Ruth Eckerd Hall

“If you get offended by anything, please just send an email to my team. toughshitnorefunds@gmail.com!” Comedy legend Steve Martin opened yet another sold-out show with mediocre comedian (to him, anyway) Martin Short with.

Were there offensive elements? Sure. But was the show itself a riotous, comedic mess in its own ideal way? Without a doubt.

The superduo released a special on Netflix a year or two ago, entitled An Evening You Will Forget For The Rest Of Your Life. And though this string of dates, properly titled The Funniest Show In Town At The Moment, takes place two years later, there wasn’t really much in the way of material unseen in the special. There was a smidge more commentary during some portions though, which probably explains why the evening was about 45 minutes longer than the Netflix special.

Once a montage of the headlining duo’s best moments in film went black, the original Wild And Crazy Guy came out around 8:15. Almost immediately after his warnings about there being no intermission, and how he doesn’t care if you get offended, he introduced his “lesser-known” sidekick.

“Just because I said thank you doesn’t mean you have to stop applauding!” Marty jabbed almost immediately. A few insults and anti-compliments later, the two burst into song, with Jimmy Kimmel Live! pianist Jeff Babko, admitting that they have over-inflated egos, but were about to kick some serious comedy ass.

First and foremost, some childhood images of the comics were displayed on a big screen that normally magnified the two. “That was the year I was voted ‘Most Likely To Marry A Cousin!’” Marty admitted upon seeing his high school senior photo. “GET THAT OFF THE SCREEN!” Steve hollered, upon coming face-to-face with a picture of the two making out at an AFI event.

Most of the night consisted of roasting each other on how chubby or old they once looked for their age, or how painfully lame and unentertaining each other’s work was. But after teaching three guys from the audience The Three Amigos salute, a sliver of civility finally came out when the two sat in their living room-style chairs, and just reminisced for about twenty-five minutes. They were mainly short anecdotes about their extensive careers, from when Marty actually met Katharine Hepburn, to when Steve told about a time him and Marty went to St. Barts for Christmas, and The National Enquirer shot a rather unflattering photo of the two in the ocean.

“We’re gonna keep doing this until we’re not having fun anymore.” Marty confirmed. Steve responded by standing up and striding offstage. With that, Babko came back out, and Marty carried on with talking about his life, his parents, and auditioning for many a Broadway show. He then presented a snippet of what was said to be his first show, “a nude version of the second best story ever told, Stepbrother To Jesus.” By the end of it, even Babko was in a nude suit, flopping around his hand down by his…never mind. “Come on, Jeff, I’ll show you somethin’ huge!” Marty yelled as Steve shooed the two offstage in utter disgust.

If you didn’t know, Steve has been a prodigious banjo player for over 50 years, claiming to have written over 100 banjo songs. He was even kind enough to explain the difference between the banjo and the guitar. “The guitar can get you laid.” he proclaimed.

He sat down and started plucking away effortlessly on a medley of songs he’s written over the years, joined by critically acclaimed country quintet, The First Ladies Of Bluegrass. Before the quintet alone got fifteen minutes devoted to their twangy tunes, the six onstage rocked out to a newer song, I Can Play The Banjo.Every time a break in the lyrics came, one of the First Ladies would do a solo of some sort on their instruments. Steve would then present a dirty look, as a reminder that this was his moment to shine. Nope, no sign of King Tut anywhere.

Once the group’s set ended, Steve came back out to talk some more about ticket prices, until Marty and crew member Jesse Lundsford interrupted him, both slowly marching out in Scottish regalia. He picked Marty up, who put his thumb to the side of Jesse’s mouth, and while rhythmically kicking his right rainbow-socked foot, non-mournfully ululated Amazing Grace, as if he were Jesse’s personal set of bagpipes.

“I can’t believe you laughed at that.” Steve annoyingly poked.

Next came a “puppet” of Marty’s Jiminy Glick, saluting a time when Steve was supposedly doing ventriloquism. Like in the Netflix special, and in general, the two only did one thing together: Roast the hell out of political figures, and Kim Kardashian.

“This is what she looks like without makeup!” The photo on the screen changed from Kim Kardashian to Steven Tyler. Brilliant. Also, apparently Bernie Sanders looks like a used tissue, and Kim Jong Un looks like a bouncer in a lesbian club.

Jiminy ran (yes, ran.) offstage, and out came Marty in his standard suit and tie. Ending the show were eulogies written by each other, for each other, just in case they don’t die together. As you can imagine, Marty’s was full of true sentiment and grief, while Steve’s was just affronting, in his own, perfect, Steve Martin way. “Wow, small turnout. Normally, when the world loses a comedian, everyone’s sad.”

All jokes aside, here’s to many, many more years from the two egomaniacs. We need them immensely, even if their schtick remains more or less the same.

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Concert Reviews

CONCERT REVIEW: B.J Thomas shares eternally acrobatic voice with hits and an a cappella gospel song at Busch Gardens

This year at Busch Gardens’ Real Music, Real Masters Concert Series, only one name has been performing for over fifty years: (No, the current lineup of The Diamonds does not count) Crooner B.J Thomas’ timeless music of many a genre is honestly a staple of 1960s contemporary rock. The Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head hitmaker has not played a show in Florida since an appearance at Ruth Eckerd Hall in 2014, though he used to be a frequent over at Epcot.

This year, however, he felt like trying a different theme park to share his unchanged vocals with.

Thomas’ 1:30 show at the Stanleyville Theatre was his eighth hour-long show this week, and he’s still got two more Saturday and Sunday. But even a packed schedule wasn’t gonna bring the crooner’s energy levels down. Sporting a black blazer with a red handkerchief, the curly-haired musical veteran ambled out onstage, flashing thumbs-ups and waves. Immediately, his seven-piece band, featuring a three-man horn section, kicked into his recognizable cover of The Beach Boys’ Don’t Worry Baby, high notes and all.

“I kinda lost track of what I was doing…impeachment’s on my mind!” he confessed during his “thanks for coming” remarks only one song in. He broke straight into hits mode, starting off with his country lament, Whatever Happened To Old-Fashioned Love, followed by a heart-melting rendition of Rock And Roll Lullaby. That was when BJ’s first story came in: It was recorded in New York in the 70s, “when music was still good.” The bulk of the audience was mostly over the age of 55, so guess what their reaction was? You’re right, thunderous hysterics and applause.

Of course, what’s a BJ Thomas set without I Just Can’t Help Believing? Or Hooked On A Feeling? Hell, what about an audience serenade of (Hey Won’t You Play) Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song? Here’s the outrageous part: You would think that at the age of 77, there are some notes that BJ used to be able to hit that he can’t anymore. Generally, if that’s the case, you have to transpose the songs down a key or two or three. Not this guy. Practically everything BJ dusted off was sung in the original key, with maybe only a little bit of improv from the backing band. The stories he would tell, on the other hand, were wild to say the least.

At the age of eight, he got to see Hank Williams Sr. drunk at a Grand Ole Opry show. “He was…having himself a great time. I didn’t understand at that age that he….was having himself a great time,” BJ recalled. Once he finished up a stirring a cappella rendition of the gospel tune Peace In The Valley, he dove right into a story about his friendship with songwriting legend Burt Bacharach, who wrote the former’s next song on the setlist, the instantly discernible Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head. Apparently, he’s still alive and kickin’, and the two recently reunited to recreate the bicycle scene from Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid.

Wrapping up his surprisingly long set was (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher And Higher, as a tribute to one of BJ’s heroes, Jackie Wilson, who died in 1984, preceded by an anecdote about himself opening for The Godfather Of Soul, James Brown. “His audience was pretty rough,” BJ said. James then came out, and told the crowd how the two had just met that day at soundcheck. “I want you to be good to him” were his words. Yep, The Godfather Of Soul, who was known for fining his backup band for screwing up a note or two onstage, stood up for his opening act.

Clearly, the respect Brown had for him was mutual all across BJ’s adoring crowds, and will, hopefully, remain that way, even after his touring career.

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Everything Else

My Favorite Albums Of 2019, In Chronological Order

January: Weezer – The Teal Album

Other than all the massive concerts I had tickets to this year, (Weird Al, Queen + Adam Lambert, Elton John, etc.) my musical hype for the first two months of the year, new release wise anyway, was the fact that Weezer would be releasing the long-awaited Black Album in March. Little did I know, Weezer ride-or-dies would receive an entire album to hold us over until March 1. An entire album of covers, that is.

Without any kind of notice, The Teal Album dropped on the 24th. This tribute to the bands that came before Weezer opened with their practically identical, yet groundbreaking cover of Toto’s Africa, following ear worms from the 60s-90s. Tons of these have become memes online, and if you know Rivers Cuomo…yeah. Happy Together (The Turtles), Take On Me (a-ha), Mr. Blue Sky (ELO), and No Scrubs (TLC) are some of the key moments on it. Everything above, as well as Brian Bell singing lead vocals on Black Sabbath’s Paranoid.

February: Dream Theater – Distance Over Time

This album gave me so much respect for Dream Theater to be honest. Metal’s not really my forte, but man do these guys have it. Excellent production, some intense guitar licks, and the mix of genres in the songs is perfect. Practically every song is as hard as the next, but you know, that’s just metal. Although, Jordan Rudess’ keyboard playing on Out Of Reach would be an ideal slow dance for metalheads. To me, anyway

March: Jon Anderson – 1000 Hands

Since I already did Weezer’s surprise Teal album for January, just to keep it diverse, I’m not gonna talk about Black. Instead, let’s dive into one of the most distinctive voices in prog’s new solo album that was almost 30 years in the making.

Jon Anderson’s material outside of Yes, be it with Aphrodite’s Child’s Vangelis, or solo, sound nothing like 1000 Hands. The songwriting sounds just like a normal Yes record. They don’t make immediate sense, but there’s meaning behind most of the lyrics. He mixes in modern beats with strings, sitars, and of course, those trademark Anderson harmonies. And don’t get me started on the album’s personnel. Jean-Luc Ponty, Robby Steinhardt, Ian Anderson, and Rick Derringer, just to name a few, play on the album. Even members of Yes’ classic lineup, including the late, great Chris Squire, made contributions, which causes Jon to want a final reunion with as many original members as possible. He hasn’t lost it; and it doesn’t sound like he’s going to anytime soon.

April: The Cranberries – In The End

My final summer vacation was on the horizon when the remaining members of the Cranberries released their final album, which was being recorded when Dolores O’Riordan died last year. In terms of sound, it sure doesn’t feel like a swan song, yet it’s a bit eery that there are songs on there about death. The production is so incredible, and has darker harmonies, yet much lighter and more fun melodies than Cranberries albums past.

“It’s all an illusion, this is my conclusion for now.” RIP Dolores.

May: Little Steven and the Disciples Of Soul – Summer Of Sorcery

I saw these guys in concert last summer, thinking that this would be the closest I’d ever get to seeing Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band. Little Steven put out an album two years ago, Soulfire, which was his first solo record in almost 20 years. He must have loved it so much, he did it again.

What’s amazing is that unlike on Soulfire, he actually wrote every song on here, and the Jersey vibe isn’t on every song. Party Mambo! may have those horns, but the bongos in the back differ strongly from anything like he’s done.

June: Bruce Springsteen – Western Stars

June was a hard month – I almost left my job, until I got an incredible promotion, being bumped all the way from cleaning crew to pastry cook. And how do you start a new adventure? With new music from The Boss, of course! Western Stars, his first new music in 5 years, is a solo album with orchestral elements throughout every single song.

I absolutely adored the movie companion, but really wish Bruce would play some shows to promote this album – I’ve never seen him live. And also, Chasin’ Wild Horses is one of his most relatable pieces yet, which is probably why I see it as the most melancholic on the album. It tells of “being up before sunup, on after sundown,” and living without expecting something new, or higher to come along. I felt that way about my job for a long time, hence why honestly, I haven’t felt such a lump in my throat over Springsteen since the first time I heard Racing In The Street. Think of this to be styled after Nebraska, crossed in a Western setting, with an orchestra present.

July: Ed Sheeran – No. 6 Collaborations Project

Six days after I turned 18, Teddy released another collaboration project. I totally shamelessly love everything Ed has released, so this was an incredibly exciting announcement to hear. The technical side makes it sound more like the radio pop that we heard on Divide, rather than the soothing, yet rambunctious acoustic guitar on X back in 2014. Sure, there were rap and autotune elements, but Ed still actually sang on everything. Even I Don’t Care (feat. Justin Bieber) wasn’t a terrible song. Though I gotta say, I’m still pretty livid that there was no Snow Patrol collab. They toured together for God’s sake!

August: Lana Del Rey – Norman Fucking Rockwell!

Every time I hear a new Lana Del Rey song, I ask myself how she does it. In an era of autotune and inauthenticity, there’s only her raw talent, along with her heart and soul, coming out of her records. Her latest album makes me ask that question all over again, and with more passion. It honestly took me a minute to tune into Lana’s latest work. I honestly regret it, because I think Norman Fucking Rockwell! is her best album, front to back, since Honeymoon. I was fascinated by the all-over-the-place synth section at the end of Venice Bitch, and the jump to the brief, yet sudden, guitar backup on The Next Best American Record. Basically, my final analysis is as follows: If this is the beginning of a new era for Lana, count me in!

September: The Lumineers – III

This one was basically The Lumineers trying a rock opera, in their own Denver style. Divided into three parts, this is probably their most personal work, featuring songs about addiction and depression, in the eyes of three people. Almost reminded me of Snow Patrol’s Wildness from last year, which was about Gary Lightbody’s alcoholism, and father’s (who unfortunately passed away a week or two ago) diagnosis with dementia. I really hope to catch the band when they tour this album next year, and then some. The Lumineers have only been around for a few years, and as far as I’m concerned, III is only the beginning!

October: Ringo Starr – What’s My Name

I’ve got a lot to say about this album. This time next year, Ringo will be 80 years old. Eighty! It’s a wonder he still makes music. His latest release is most certainly an improvement from 2017’s Give More Love. The only complaint I have about the record is his cover of Money. Ringo’s voice is in better shape than McCartney’s, in all honesty, which is why I feel that RoboRingo, as my friends have called him, was not needed to recreate the rockabilly classic. But if you push that aside, and pay attention to his collaboration with McCartney, the John Lennon penned Grow Old With Me, and pretty much all the rest of the album’s tunes, there are hardly any flaws. By the way, his name is Ringo.

November: Jeff Lynne’s ELO – From Out Of Nowhere

The second consecutive release from probably the most authentic reincarnation of the Electric Light Orchestra has the exact same sound and production that the original band brought to the light. According to Jeff Lynne, the lead single, which shares a title with the album was inspired by where the idea to release another album came from. Also included is Time Of Our Life, which tells about the group’s 2017 gig at Wembley Stadium. It’s a pretty big accomplishment to sell Wembley out the way they did. I caught them live in Tampa with Dhani Harrison the day after my eighteenth birthday, and I’m almost certain that Jeff and the guys weren’t the only guys having the time of their lives at Wembley.

December: The Who – WHO

No doubt in my mind, Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey have both still got it. But it’s hard to call this a Who album, the same way it’s hard to call 2006’s Endless Wire a Who album. Would you call an album with just John Lennon and Paul McCartney a Beatles album? Anyway…there are some real hard rockers on here. Ball And Chain throws it back to older days, sounding somewhat close to the material on A Quick One.

Hero Ground Zero is the highlight of the album for me – Pete actually took advantage of the orchestras he’s currently touring with, and blended them into the background. I caught them live this year too, where they actually gave us a sneak peek of the two mentioned. Considering the fact that this is the first Who album in 13 years, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last one. If it is, in fact, the end of Pete and Rog’s recording career together, they’re not going out with a whimper.

Honorable Mentions:

Weezer – The Black Album

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers – The Best Of Everything: The Definitive Career Spanning Hits Collection

Sheryl Crow – Threads

Snow Patrol – Reworked

Bruce Springsteen – Western Stars OST

Rocketman OST

Neil Young And Crazy Horse – Colorado

Leonard Cohen – Thanks For The Dance

Categories
Concert Reviews Local Shows

CONCERT REVIEW: Jeff Two-Names and the Born Agains, along with a ton of local support, blow up Largo kava bar

“We’ve got one more song for you, and then we’re gonna let some fine folks who came a long way play some music…” was how opening act Rototiller closed out their set, because they knew that the electrifying next, and last, act of this bar show were not only out-of-towners, but highly anticipated ones in the local rock community.

Dad rock: You know, mainly the bands you hear on your local classic rock station: Journey, Phil Collins, Billy Joel, you know. What about dad punk? And not like, the Sex Pistols or The Clash. I mean punk music, with lyrics equivalent to a dad emphasizing about his life as one.

Enter Jeff Two-Names and the Born Agains, a dad punk band from Savannah that basically mixes, as you could probably guess, dad jokes and punk rock. Basically like what Okilly Dokilly is doing, with their excessive Simpsons references. That is, without the obvious name to display what they do.

The dad punks have embarked on a tour exclusively of Florida, and Wednesday night was their first stop in the Tampa area, at Largo’s Dharma Kava Lounge. And it wasn’t only them. Arranged by Steve Cee of No Vacancy Radio, the show was supposed to kick off at 7:30 with a live broadcast of their HAFtime radio show. Due to unforeseen circumstances, that didn’t happen, and Eduardo Fenton-Rodriguez got up with just his laptop and guitar, for a rather melancholic rock and roll acoustic excursion, starting in the 80s, around 9:00.

First song was a gritty, sax-free cover of George Michael’s Careless Whisper, followed by Alice In Chains’ Nutshell. An original, blatantly obviously written about the venue, Dharma, was presented third, and was said to be on Spotify relatively soon. Wait, a song about this venue? Eduardo, who normally partakes in Monday night open mic at the lounge, is working on an album right now, and it’s actually being produced backstage at the venue. Against The Wall by Seether closed up his set, before he headed back towards the bar.

Almost immediately after his set came Slam Duncan, sporting an “emotional support” turtle hat, and a suit covered in pot clip art. The maestro of mixing the innovative sounds of his pedals with his sticker-obsessed acoustic played nothing but original songs, some of which have yet to see the light of day, in terms of streaming. “Currently working on album number two,” he announced, a song or two before a rousing rendition of Viva la Revolution.

Duncan’s top song on Apple Music, Mr. Trump, was apparently flagged by PornHub recently. “Even if rape or incest is involved, they still want to hold the fucker for a full term…right?” Hell yeah, said a few of us. Then, from out of nowhere came a satanic parody of Jingle Bells. The idea for a newer, smoother song, For 2020, came when Duncan was “meditating under a waterfall in Colorado.” With some weed? I do wonder. Wrapping up his set with Rich Boy, Duncan made the turtle on his head say good night, and he too, headed towards the kava bar to enjoy the acts to come.

The final opener was the first non-solo act of the night: Local rock trio Rototiller from Seminole Heights. “We came like, 11 miles. That’s like, a big deal!” they bragged.

This was no generic wannabe rock band, either, unlike many rock bands around here. The group had the sound of Green Day meets Peter Green-era Fleetwood Mac. And that silver Gretsch being held by guitarist and lead singer Scott Miller looked like one of Mike Campbell’s normally used models. Like both musicians that graced the stage before them, Rototiller has also finished recording an album. According to their Facebook page, it took only a whole weekend to whip most everything together, and it’s almost ready for release. “I have a feeling we’re gonna sell at least one CD tonight!”

Bassist Peter Nuffer recalled the “dirtiness about Seminole Heights,” and remembered being called a hobo-lookalike at one point. Miller even wrote a song about that event. “Every bit is true, and every bit happened!” Nuffer promised.

Finally, around 11:25, Jeff Two-Names, and his Born Agains, stormed the stage with Never Been Done, followed immediately by Attack Of The Dad Band, without any sort of pause. “We’re on an international world tour of Florida, this is day 2.” lead singer Jeff Storey-Pitts said.

“Who wants a dad joke, then? Do you want to hear a joke about pizza? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.” We all saw that one coming. And there were eventually more to come, through song. But in all honesty, there were more true stories than jokes. The band has two very distinctive characters, portrayed as children of some of the members: Petee and Sydney. “We’re gonna set a world record. No band has ever done four true-story songs in less than two and a half minutes.” Jeff reminded us. They managed to do I Hate My Job, Glad You Had Your Period, Rats, and Sydney Is A High School Dropout, in two minutes and thirteen seconds, timed by Steve Cee, per Jeff’s request.

Jeff brought up “the elephant in the room,” which was the fact that all four punks were wearing the same shoes: Green Chuck Taylors. The pants among all four were totally different, though. “These are our show pants!” Their set concluded with an incredible deep cut, I Wanna Go Home, from Holly And The Italians, and another song out of the Sydney saga, Sydney Got A Tonsillectomy. “If you’ve ever had a tonsillectomy, this song’s for you.”

I haven’t, but hey: What did one tonsil say to the other? “Get dressed, the doctor’s taking us out tonight.”